What Can Make Me
by AtLoLevad
Summary: *Spoilers for !3x1* Tony unexpectedly reaches out to Ziva after Gibbs is shot.


Tony hit send on his phone and slid the device back into his jacket pocket.

He didn't even know if the number was still in use, still hers, but he hit send anyway.

"Tony?" Joanna's voice caught his attention and he looked up.

"Yeah?"

"Helo transport is leaving in five," she looked at him, "Were you just updating the team?"

Tony's thumb brushed against the back of his phone and he shrugged.

"Kind of," was his half-truth answer.

Because even if she wasn't official part of the team anymore, Ziva was always part of his team.

Joanna looked curious, but didn't question him further. Instead she nodded and said, "Let's head out to the deck, don't want to keep the pilot waiting."

Tony looked at his phone before following Joanna.

No response.

But then again, he hadn't expected one.

* * *

 **Gibbs shot. In surgery. Looks bad.**

Tears pricked at Ziva's widened eyes as she read Tony's message for the fifth time. She let the phone slip from her slack grip and land on the table.

Six words. Six short words that could flip her world around.

They hadn't spoken in a year, maybe more, (her fault) and this is the message he chooses to start a conversation again?

"Dammit, Tony!" she yelped, slamming her open palm down on the table, causing her water glass to jump.

She stabbed furiously at the phone, hoping it would chime with an update from Tony.

Ziva suddenly felt too big for her skin. She stood up and paced a lap around her tiny kitchen. Muttering to herself in Hebrew, Ziva debated how she should answer.

And not for the first time, she wished she were in DC, she wished she were home.

Ziva looked back at her phone, silent on the table, and shook her head.

"I am sorry, Tony," she sighed and made a deliberate effort to push her thoughts away from Gibbs. She couldn't afford to get close again, not now, not when she had to make a decision about staying another year with her current position as an English teacher at the local elementary school.

She left the phone behind when she went to do her weekly grocery shopping.

* * *

She lasted less than an hour.

 _How is he? Is surgery over? Tony, please keep me updated._

His response came in less than two minutes.

 **You'll know as soon as I do.**

And then he didn't respond for more than 12 hours.

* * *

Ziva felt like a caged animal. Tony's lack of response about Gibbs was slowly eating away at her.

She tapped her fingers against the countertop, anxiously checking her phone for an update.

She hadn't slept and her nerves were frayed to the point of snapping.

When the phone finally did ring, Ziva let out a startled gasp. She snatched it up and answered without looking at the caller ID.

"Tony?" she snapped, "How is Gibbs!?"

Her former partner and one time lover sighed on the other end of the line, thousands of miles away.

"He's okay. He's knocked out for now, but surgery went well," Tony said.

The tension evaporated from Ziva's shoulders and she could feel her body physically slump in relief.

She muttered a quick prayer of thanks in Hebrew and then in English, "What happened?"

"He was shot, close range, in the knee and chest," Tony sounded tired, "It's tied to a terrorist ring we've been working."

Ziva nodded, "The Calling."

"How...?" Tony was shocked that Ziva knew the name.

"How do I know it?" she finished Tony's question, "I keep a few feelings into my old life."

"Feelers," Tony corrected automatically, and then grinned at the familiarity.

"Yes, those," Ziva acknowledged the correction.

They were both quiet for several beats, oceans and years between them.

"Tony?" Ziva said his name on a sigh, "Why did you text me?"

Three more beats of silence, and then:

"I needed to tell someone."

"Tony," she doesn't know why she keeps saying his name. Maybe it's because she's gone so long without saying it, "Tim and Abby and Ducky and Palmer are all in DC with you. Why not one of them?"

"I'm not in DC," Tony said shortly, and before Ziva could ask where he was, "We were in Iraq. I'm not there anymore, but don't ask. I can't tell you where I am."

She understands, she really does, but it still stings that there are now things about Tony she doesn't - can't - know.

"I just wanted you to know about Gibbs," Tony was saying, and Ziva could picture him ruffling a hand through his hair.

"Well," she leaned against her kitchen counter, "Thank you for telling me. Can you- can you tell him I say hello?"

Tony smiled, "Yeah, I'd be happy to."

"Are you okay, Tony?" she sighed, wondering how far Tony's involvement went in this. Would this be like that summer so many years ago when Jenny was killed? Or had he moved past blaming himself for things that were out of his control?

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he answered quickly, "Look, I've gotta go. We're chasing down some leads and I've already spent too much time on the phone."

Ziva barely had the chance to say goodbye before the line cut off.

It didn't escape her notice that Tony hadn't said her name once.

Maybe he was working on moving on as well.

Her phone buzzed.

 **Missed talking to you, Z**

A small smile spread over Ziva's lips.

Another buzz.

 **Can I call you later?**

* * *

Tony fell a few steps back from Joanna when his phone buzzed in his hand.

A wide grin spread across his tired face as he read the one word response.

 _Yes xo_

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, i have no idea what this is, honestly. I watched 13x1 and I just wanted to bring Ziva in somehow. I figured Tony could conceivably text her to let her know about Gibbs during the surgery. That would be something Ziva would want to know. Eh, just let me know what you think? Thanks!**


End file.
